Sunday, December 6, 2009

Play "Shall I Believe" by Sheryl Crow While You Read This.


hometown boys.
let's talk about hometown boys.
they never really leave you, you know.
----------------------------------------

cut to Saturday morning.
4 hrs of sleep, after
laborious games of screwdriverpong
the night/morning before.
it's 9ish
& there is fresh snow on the ground
but it's time to go work at the concession
stands for the speech and debate team.
Great.
Bobby picks Sassy Cat and I up.
we go.
There are too many team members
behind the counter.
We are there for ten minutes.
Miscommunicaton ensues between
me and a team leader. He thought
I was supposed to work the day before.
I told him that I told him the previous Wednesday that I couldn't.
and then tell him that I am sorry and that
I should've been more clear.
He eases up and then tells me to be a
cashier.
I am hungover.
This will not work.
I tell him I'd be too slow.
(This is not true. I have
a mental block with working
with money, because of an
rageful bi-polar ex boss
who was in his mid 20s
and bitter, and who mentally
abused his employees.
It's weird. I'm able to do the work.
I just freeze up and can't. I know it
sounds stupid...)
I'm really surprised I just wrote that.
It's embarrasing.
Anyway, the team leader is infuriated
and tells me to literally go "bye bye."
Asshole.
Anyway, I leave. It's cold and I feel
like crying, because I just can't seem
face my fear. It's hindering. Just as
I'm treking across the parking lot
half-miserable yet half-relieved that
I get to sleep, my phone rings.
Sassy Cat.
My heart sings.
It felt like a scene
straight out of a movie:
there we are in a sea of
people, some top 40
song blasting through the

stadium speakers,
and I tell him to turn around.
I catch up with him.
He didn't want to work
and there was nothing for him
to do, so he came to find me.
So we walk from the stadium
to 4th street throwing snowballs on
the stretch of Willow
then stopping to smoke
cigarettes on the playground.
I tell him thank you over and over.
We watch T.V. at Bobby's,
so drained, for 3hrs then
decide to run errands.
We walk to Sassy's apartment
to get Titus, the ghetto white
Dodge Neon. On the
walk, the sun is shining through
the branches and I hook
my arm in the crook of his
and tell him I want to remember
this experience forever.
He shrugs me off
and says in normal
caveman Sassumslang
"Too much affection."
I laugh. Aaron is gay
and is married to John
who is also part of the
crew and utterly amazing.
We take Titus to Wal-Mart
to replace a tire then get
cigarettes (through a drive thru
window, no doubt!)
that's when I see Illusions and
squeal. I've been wanting to
go inside there for 2 yrs.
We enter. It's a knock off
of Spencer's, yet sells
skateboards and has an
adjacent tattoo parlor.
On a whim, after consulting
my best friend on the phone, I
get my nose pierced.
My piercer is super cool.
He's been piercing for 7 yrs.
When the metal penetrated,
it hurt. My eyes watered
and for a splitsecond I wanted
to cry, but then after a moment
the pain passed. I'm ecstatic.

Sassums Catticus and I
then venture to Dollar General
where I purchase Leroy's
medicene. At Bobby's, I administer
the meds then go to Sassy's.
We chill there for awhile
then go with John to Long John Silver's.
I am tired of spending money, so I
played to coin machine where you try
to get a nickel, quarter, or dime on one
of the ledges for a free side order.
I win hush puppies.
I am elated.
We get in Titus to take the food home
and feast in front of the "demon"/"jabber"box
as John likes to call the television.
During the car ride, my phone
crackles the intro to Beneath the Balcony.
1 New Txt Msg
It is an unrecognizeable phone number.
But it has Memphis area code.
The message says "Whaaatttt Upppp."
It's him. I know it is.
I hope it is.
I say who's this.
It is him.
My first love.
(NOT MY SHITTY EX THAT
I WROTE ABOUT IN AN EARLIER
BLOG!)
I'd been thinking about what
would be of us come Christmas
break. I kept up an inner monologue
throughout the past week about
getting with him. And then this. We
haven't talked in months.
We text for hours
that night.
He wants me.
I am surprised.
I am fulfilled.
We arrive at Johns.
My best friends Jenna, Austin, and
Savannah arrive from
Murfreesboro.
We then go to Bobby's as
he's arrived home.
Everyone comes over.
We get the bright idea to play
screwdriverpong.
Hours pass as the stereo plays
and we are all wasted.
I think I am about to vomit.
I have never thrown up from
alcohol.
I just hate throwing up.
So, I go to the bathroom.
The urge subsides and I lay down.
As I lay down, I bang my head on
the wall or floor...I can't remember.
It hurts. But I lay there for a while.
Then Savannah comes for me.
I arise and go to the couch.
They tell me not to go to sleep
because I may have a concussion.
I sleep.
After proving I don't have one,
we go to Taco Bell and feast in
the car with techno blasting.
It's heaven.
We go to Sassum's
and pass out in the guest bedroom.

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